Alone
Alone
Alone
With no one to love
I lay motionless
Wishing it would stop
Hoping it won’t hurt
I don’t want to cry
No courage to scream
Nothing left for me here
And nothing to come
Alone once again
With everyone to hate
I can’t stay still
Now that it’s over
Now that it hurt
All I can do is cry
And I still long to scream
No one is here for me now
When I need them most
Alone
Without you
I am once again motionless
It stopped and it’s gone
And the hurt has faded
The tears are gone
But they are replaced by fears
Will you return
And bring it back again
2/7/2007
posted by katie at 3:56 PM
1 Comments:
So, are you feeling lonely?
This is good. I like the feel, but I wish there was a better rhythm. Poetry without motion is like life without air. It's not fun, and it's not easy. Sorry to put it so bluntly. I just find it difficult stumbling over line after line. I do like the meanings involved, BUT you could use a little work with Mrs. Gaul. She'll teach you a little bit about figurative language, because you seem to just want to come right out and say it.
Surprise me. Make me reach for it. That's what poetry's about.
Post a Comment
<< Home