Constant Fear and Endless Doubt

it still needs a title...

2008-11-21T18:25:00.001-05:00

He watches
As her life slips
Falling
Into the darkest pits of hell
Only to return
To this familiar place
Begging for help
As well as forgiveness
She trips,
Old habits die hard
Wondering,
Is this her only choice?
Arms holding tight
Please don't let go
Begging for hope
Pleading for life
She can,
But will she stop?
Chances
Taken time and time again
Same results:
A careless mind
begging to see white
In non-uniform lines.

Memories

2008-10-08T21:59:00.002-04:00

Memories
Of a haunted past
That stayed hidden
For years and years
Finally brought to light
For the innocent to see.
Memories
Of childhood fun
Darkened by his smile
That can be seen
From miles away
She could not escape his gaze.
Memories
She knew were there
But denied each day
Unsure of when and how
Her life was forever changed
To this very day
Memories
Of Innocence
And dangers - Unaware
Brought to an end
By a single touch
From his filthy hand.
The Memory
Floods the mind today
Of a not so innocent girl
Left to trip and fall
In a world
Darkened by a smile.

10.7.08

9.30.08

2008-10-08T21:54:00.002-04:00

Falling down
Seeing only white
Can it break my fall?
Breathing deep
To forget the pain
White turns to black
An absence of color
Replaces my world
Once present with all
Glossy eyes
A stupid smile
Wasting life again
Loving every moment
But forgetting each that passed
Fighting to remember
But the brain cells are going fast.

My Demon

2008-08-25T18:10:00.003-04:00

Staring into the eyes of a Demon
That have captured me
Time and Time again.
I see no easy escape.
My gaze,
locked to his,
Searches his mind,
For a time long ago,
When he was so easy to love.
That time,
forever gone.
Nothing is easy about,
The Demon,
making each breath
even more complicated than the last
Love no longer exists.
Lust remains in the mind of the Demon.
Lust,
never-ending,
that started even before the brief
Moments of love,
that may have never existed
in the mind
of
MY Demon.

I write... to get over u...

2008-01-23T17:14:00.000-05:00

This is what its like,
To love someone
I want to hate.
This is how it is,
To be lied to,
By my truthful one.
This is how it feels,
To have these tears,
Running down my face.
To be forgotten,
By the one who,
Said ‘I’ll never leave.’
Just another time,
When love really,
Means I hate.
More hurt from one,
Who promised to,
Keep away my fear.
I get it, you’re gone,
And you don’t care,
If I fade away.

Gag

2007-10-11T21:40:00.001-04:00

i hate this one... but w/e idc anymore

See the scars

Hear the lies

Of life she is afraid

Feel the hurt

Cause the pain

Don’t let her slip away

Taste of the salt

Of her tears

That she cried everyday

Smell the rose

Her loved ones brought

No tears come from their eyes

The bright smile

On her face

Shall be there forever more

Thoughts of her

Fade away

As the world continues on

My Desire

2007-08-30T21:59:00.000-04:00

My Desire

With each step I take
I fade more
Into the nothing that I am.
I slowly disappear
And I don’t cry for help.
This is what I wanted
From the very start
My desire from long ago
To not be noticed
Or even seen
And the only thing ever heard
Would be the echo of my screams.

8/28/2007

Hidden Escape

2007-08-30T21:54:00.000-04:00

Hidden Escape

Your sweet voice in my ear
The soft touch of your hand
I close my eyes
And the storm seems to fade
Nothing matters anymore
Because you’re by my side
You promise no harm
And a reason to smile
No need for tears
And fears can disappear
You’re the escape that I needed
The one that’s been hidden away
I’ve searched for so long
And I’ve finally found you.

8-21-07

2007-08-18T23:59:00.000-04:00

Tears being shed
Over broken promises
That you could never keep.
Regret taking over
The mind that was once free
To wander in happiness.
Silent moments
Turning into hours
Of not a word being said.
Hidden fears of life
Seem to creep from the dark
Reminding me I’m not alone.
Memories begin to haunt
And what smiles that were left
Fade into the shadows.
Nothing here now
Only a river of bloody tears
To remind us of our past.

8-18-07

Her Love Song

2007-06-07T23:04:00.000-04:00

Her Love Song

Staring in the distant haze

Truth unfolds before my eyes

Wishes granted

True love found

No such thing as lies

Watching as her life’s revealed

For all of us to see

The pain and hurt

The love and care

Now the scars are seen

Listening to the song she sings

When she is all alone

Perfect pitch

True harmony

The love song that she longed.

Saving Her

2007-03-07T19:03:00.000-05:00

Saving Her

Falling to her knees
She realized her mistakes
Begging for forgiveness
And to be saved from this hell
Calling to her Savior
Asking for HIS help
She cried the tears of fear
Of what her life had been
Wanting to praise HIM
Until her very last breath
Showing others the way
To be with him forever
Forever in his glory
Shall she remain
Happiness is now her life
Because she is with him.

3/7/2007

...

2007-03-05T18:30:00.000-05:00

The ticking
It’s timing my life
How long have I got to live?
Sitting
Trying not to think
Of what is yet to come.
Fallen
Is my angel
Who was to watch over me.
Forgotten
Is your lost soul
And it will be left behind.
Tripping
On the lies told
To cover up your truth.
Denial
The key to life
That gets me through the day.

3/5/2007

who knows...

lalala

2007-03-02T21:20:00.000-05:00

The silence,
It’s unwanted
Yet it’s still here

The love,
It’s been lost
Flooded by tears

Any hope,
No one knows
When will it end

The pain,
It’s been felt
Now it will stop

Trust,
Who knows
Will it return

Dreams
They’re back
And here to stay

Smiles
They exist
Even on my face

The sun
It will shine
Until my last day.

3/2/2007

once again... i don't like it.. and i find it really pointless for me to post it since no one reads this thing anyways... but hey... i am bored so i figured y not..... well feel free to tell me wut ya think.

hmmm title

2007-02-08T21:00:00.000-05:00

Broken down
It’s dark again
Just try not to cry
A waste of life
A tragic death
And all you ask is why
Long road
Ahead of me
And all I do is sigh
Gone forever
No place to go
As these days pass by
Leave me here
And let it go
Will you please just let me die.

2/8/2007

Alone

2007-02-07T15:56:00.000-05:00

Alone

Alone
With no one to love
I lay motionless
Wishing it would stop
Hoping it won’t hurt
I don’t want to cry
No courage to scream
Nothing left for me here
And nothing to come

Alone once again
With everyone to hate
I can’t stay still
Now that it’s over
Now that it hurt
All I can do is cry
And I still long to scream
No one is here for me now
When I need them most

Alone
Without you
I am once again motionless
It stopped and it’s gone
And the hurt has faded
The tears are gone
But they are replaced by fears
Will you return
And bring it back again

2/7/2007

Misplaced

2007-01-31T21:15:00.000-05:00

Misplaced

I look around
I am out of place
I don’t belong here
Yet I recognize your face.

It felt wrong
To be there tonight
I don’t know why
But I wanted to fight.

Out of place
I wanted to cry
I couldn’t understand
Things as they went by.

Was it wrong?
Was I misplaced?
Or maybe it’s because
They are all just two-faced.

1/31/07

My Dream Come True

2007-01-29T23:07:00.000-05:00

MY Dream Come True

It must be a dream
It can’t really be you
All the nights that I prayed
Could those prayers come true?

If its you I will cry
I wouldn’t know what to say
All those nights that I dreamed
And it’s going to turn out my way.

My hopes are high
Is this happening now?
This is just what I need
All I have to ask is just how?

How did you know
That I needed you back
All those nights that I cried
I now realize it was you that I lack.

1/29/2007

i really don't care if u like this one...
it means the world to me rite now...

idk.... i need to come up wit titles for my poems

2007-01-11T16:57:00.000-05:00

You’re the only place to turn
But I am afraid to reveal it all
I don’t want you to know
About my every trip and fall

I never wanted to start again
I didn’t want this life back
All I wanted was to cry
And forget everything I lack

I don’t want my life to end
Even if I am this far away
I need to turn to him
And follow all the way

Let this hardship pass
Don’t let this day be my last
Let me to return to my life
And let me forget my past.

1-11-07

wrote this wen i wasn't in a good state of mind.....
tell me wut ya think

hmmmm

2007-01-08T17:24:00.000-05:00

I thought it was over
That all my fears were gone
But then I saw your picture
And now the tears come on

I thought that I was ready
To again see your face
But now I know I'm not
I know I'm a disgrace

I don't want to cry at all
I don't want to scream
I want to keep wishing
That this is all a dream

I know my end is near
And nothing can be stopped
Once again I am alone
And my fear cannot be topped.

1-8-07

*sigh* u prob. don't like it... but i had a lil breakdown and i wrote it...
and if u don't know my past then u don't know wut it means

another new one...

2007-01-03T18:20:00.000-05:00

I am lost in this world of hate
And just hoping that it’s not to late

I want to turn back now
But I just don’t know how

Will I ever be saved from this
Or suffer from the pain that’s his

My words are pointless to you
Just as my thoughts are too

My thoughts begin to fade
I really thought I had it made

No one to hear me scream
No matter what I deem

I want to leave this place
So I no longer have to see your face.

1/3/07

yep.. another new one.. it sucks

2007-01-03T16:49:00.000-05:00

I am done with it all,
I know that you hate me
And don’t care when I fall.

I’m a failure to you
As well as everyone else
I suck at life and everything I do.

When will it end
So I don’t feel pain anymore
I need my life to be a mend

You can’t hear me speak
Even if I scream aloud
You seem to ignore me when I’m meek

Along this path I stumble
Even as I continue on
I shall always remain humble

1/3/2007

Go ahead and trash it... i kno it sucks...

Untitled....

2006-12-29T00:50:00.000-05:00

Open my eyes
Let me see the truth
That is hidden with these lies

Open my heart
Help me love once more
May that love inspire more art

Open my mind
That I may welcome thoughts
Thoughts that my heart can unbind.

See all my dreams
Let them pass by you
So life is as it seems

Control my life
With only your mind
Save what is left of this strife

12/29/06

When Will You

2006-12-17T00:11:00.000-05:00

When Will You

When will you realize

That I love you so much

Yet it’s you I despise.

When will you notice

That I am here for you

That I can be your voice.

When will you tell me

The things that you hide

Won’t you just let me see?

When will you be here

For me to hold in my arms

As we gaze into the mirror.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK :-p :-)

new poem

2006-12-15T16:58:00.000-05:00

I will not give in

You will not win

Please don’t make me

Live this life of sin

Will you take my hand

And take me to that land

Will you count the stars

Then every grain of sand

Wipe away my tear

So I can look in the mirror

I promise not to show

That you’re my only fear

I need to let go

Of everything I know

I don’t want to be here

Because my memories show

Tears will fall like rain

On everything that’s slain

Please let me leave

Before I go insane.

yea... new poem thing...

2006-12-04T22:20:00.000-05:00

Fight back the tears

Just try not to cry

Forget all the years

That have passed by

You don’t need him back

He is not in your life

It’s not him that you lack

He caused the strife

Nothing will ever change

The silence will still remain

As life continues to be strange

It will always seem insane

You are on your own

No one with you now

You will always be alone

As long as your life will allow.

Broken

2006-11-19T11:29:00.000-05:00

A stab in the back
The knife in your hand
That something I lack
from my life is banned

A push to a shove
To a punch being thrown
I thought this was love
But the only love is my own

Promises are broken
They are left to your fears
Truths that were unspoken
Hidden just like my tears

Death comes upon me
With the cloak of night
When will you let me see
That there is a light.

It Won't Hurt

2006-11-07T17:08:00.000-05:00

It Won’t Hurt

It won’t hurt

That one last sip

Of the life unknown

Could it hurt?

It won’t hurt

That one last hit

Of life’s betrayal

Will it hurt?

It won’t hurt

The one last cut

From that knife

Would it hurt?

It won’t hurt

That one last punch

Before I leave

Must it hurt?

It won’t hurt

Just close your eyes

The pain will leave

This world of hurt.

New Poem

2006-11-07T16:34:00.000-05:00

Get me out

Get me away

I need to shout

What I want to say

Help me to know

Help me to see

Will you just show

What I need to be

Screaming in pain

Screaming in delight

Falling like rain

Throughout the night

Show me the way

Show me your face

Take me away

To that faraway place.

It Always Comes To

2006-10-05T15:46:00.000-04:00

It Always Comes To (10-5-06)

An empty heart
To an empty mind
It always comes to
Leaving me behind

Truth be told
Lies be heard
It always comes to
Something obscured

Dreams are real
Reality seems fake
It always comes to
The life that we make

The things we’ve lost
And those left to lose
It always comes to
The lifestyle we choose

Life to death
To tears being shed
It always comes to
The things that you said.

poem thing

2006-10-05T15:35:00.000-04:00

10-5-06

Forgotten truths
Of untold lives
Unwanted souls
Of those who stive

These darkened paths
Lifes only way
To continue on
Throughout the day

The hidden face
Of one who cares
The one to challenge
Our nightmares

Travel along
This long dark path
That's full of lies
And all God's wrath.

Thoughts of You

2006-10-05T15:31:00.000-04:00

Thoughts of You (10-4-06)

Loving you
Hating love
Forgetting Hate
You Forgot
Seeing you
Happy to see
Me Happy
Loving me
True Love
Yours truely
I'm yours.

kinda weird/confusing to the ppl that read it but idk...

Untitled

2006-09-23T15:43:00.000-04:00

Untitled

You are here with me

In my darkest hour

You have helped me through

The dark and stormy sea

Help me see the truth

See the truth and help me

I need to be there

Right there beside you

Open your arms again

So I have a place to be

Where I can smile

And learn to live

Please say yes to me

As I beg and plead

When will you see the truth

That we were always meant to be

hmmm

2006-09-22T06:10:00.000-04:00

hmmm... yea,,,
the only reason i got this was so i had a place to post my poems.. and because of josh.
he is a loser... that is y i <3>

Constant Fear and Endless Doubt

it still needs a title...

Memories

9.30.08

My Demon

I write... to get over u...

*Gag*

My Desire

Hidden Escape

Her Love Song

Saving Her

...

lalala

hmmm title

Alone

Misplaced

My Dream Come True

idk.... i need to come up wit titles for my poems

hmmmm

another new one...

yep.. another new one.. it sucks

Untitled....

When Will You

new poem

yea... new poem thing...

Broken

It Won't Hurt

New Poem

It Always Comes To

poem thing

Thoughts of You

Untitled

hmmm

Gag